The Colony of The Defender is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ballo with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.126 billion Defenderians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Walled City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Defenderian economy, worth 551 trillion Euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Gambling, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 133,722 Euros, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 589,847 per year while the poor average 18,997, a ratio of 31.0 to 1.

The statue in the Zahm Plaza has a solar panel for a hat, the nation leads Nederland for unlikely accidents and truffle consumption, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, and people are often woken up by rubbish music. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Defender's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

The Defender is ranked 255,684^th in the world and 141^st in Nederland for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 43.9 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.